Have you ever made a decision to do something you were really excited about and just before you were going to do it, you suddenly didn’t want to do it at all? Looking back at some of my best decisions, I’ve noticed that pattern.

I grew up in the Chicago area which wasn’t the best fit for me. At 30, I got introduced to the Southwest and made a decision to move. I had seen lots of people move out west then end up moving back because things didn’t work out. I didn’t want that to happen to me.

One of the problems that caused people to move back was finances. So I changed careers and became a computer programmer. I figured there were computer programming jobs every where so I would have job security no matter where I lived.

Then, I needed to finish a long, drawn-out divorce. Then, I wanted to save money. It was 9 years before I was ready to move.

The funny thing was that when it came time to actually move, I suddenly didn’t want to. I would be moving by myself and leaving my friends and family. Chicago no longer seemed like such a bad place. My whole being didn’t want to make the move.


Fortunately, I had had a similar experience when I moved to London in my mid-20’s. I felt really good about the decision to go. I had everything I needed—a job, a place to live, people I knew there. But right before I moved, I had heard about hardships that people had had who had done a similar move. I felt nauseous for days thinking about it and seriously considered canceling. But instead, I decided to go even though I was feeling a huge amount of dread and reluctance. I based my decision on how I felt when I originally decided to move.

It turned out that the problems I feared would happen in London actually did. But it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Living in England made a significant impact in my outlook on life. I treasure the time I had there.

I made the same type of decision when moving from Chicago to Albuquerque. Even though I felt dread and reluctance, I went forward with my move based on how I felt during those 9 years of dreaming and planning. Moving to Albuquerque was another one of my best decisions. I totally love it here, and it felt like home almost immediately.


So whenever I see that same pattern of getting excited about something and then becoming reluctant right before doing it, I push through the reluctance and end up being thrilled on the other side.

If I had never pushed through the reluctance and, instead, backed out of decisions because of those feelings, I would have been trapped in a never-ending cycle of coming up with great ideas, but never achieving them.

Filed under: EmotionsFearResistance