One way of looking at ourselves is that we are composed of four different aspects:
I’ve noticed that one cause of stuckness is repeatedly addressing an issue from one of these aspect at the neglect of the rest. I’ve seen people who were afraid to deal with their emotions try over and over again to address emotional and relational issues from their intellect without making much headway.
I’ve also seen myself do the opposite and get stuck in the emotional aspect. One year my husband was working 80 to 90 hours a week. I passionately oppose that lifestyle. It was tearing me up to see him live like that. I knew staying stuck in those intense emotions every day wasn’t helping me nor the situation. So I hired a Byran Katie counselor. With Byran Katie work, you take something highly emotional and work with it with your intellect. This helps you see it more clearly and have a larger perspective. I went from daily aggravation and despair to being able to detach and focus on my own life.
Sometimes, it’s one aspect that we’re neglecting. I’ve gotten all inspired, which led to great planning and emotionally excitement, but then got distracted by another inspired idea and never got around to actually doing anything about the first idea.
Some people will neglect their physical body because they think they should keep going when what they really need is a rest.
Others will try to stay emotionally positive about a situation, when what they really need is to think about what’s causing their negative emotions and do something it.
Each of these four aspects work beautifully together when balanced. If you’re currently stuck in an area of your life, here’s some question you can ask yourself to begin to return to that working balance:
- Do I need to take better care of my body?
- Do I need to take action on something?
- Do I need to bite the bullet and feel difficult emotions in order to work through my current challenge?
- Do I need to listen to what my emotions are trying to tell me?
- Am I habitually doing the same things over and over without thinking through whether it’s still working for me?
- Do I need inspiration?
- Do I need to develop spiritual trust in the process of life?
It’s like a puzzle. Keep playing with balancing these aspects until you’ve hit that sweet spot and things begin to flow again.
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