Most people think of a habit as something unhealthy we need to quit, like smoking cigarettes or watching too much TV or staying up too late and not getting enough sleep. But in reality most of our habits are beneficial, like brushing our teeth, eating breakfast, cleaning up after ourselves. If you think about it, we actually have more good habits than bad.

The benefit of a habit is you do it without thinking. If you have the habit of brushing your teeth every morning, you don’t think through whether you’re going to do it. You just do it.

The habits you have determine the quality of your life.

But as we change and grow, some of our habits will need upgrading. A habit can be so ingrained in us that we don’t even realize that it no longer fits. Taking a trip is a great way to become aware of which habits no longer fit. Traveling typically breaks us out of our routine and many of our habits.

For years, I didn’t take the time to read for pleasure. I only read for work. Last fall we went on a camping trip. On one of the evenings, my husband and I decided to hang out in our camping chairs, with headlamps on, reading our books. I loved it. It was so peaceful and relaxing. Since that trip, I’ve established the habit of reading for pleasure 3 to 4 evenings a week. I love it.

Traveling can also help you realize which habits you value most and want to nurture even more.

When I travel, the typical breakfast is a bagel or pancakes with orange juice. The refined flour and lack of protein and fiber ends up making me feel sluggish and just plain yucky. At home, I eat really healthy, well-balanced breakfasts and feel great. On one trip I realized I wanted to feel as good on vacation as I did at home. So from then on, I packed my healthy breakfasts and brought them with me as I traveled. It’s made a huge difference in the quality of my trips.

Habits can be a positive thing in our lives if we examine them periodically and make sure they are supporting the life we truly want. We’re creatures of habit. We might as well take advantage of that and use our habits to create what we really want in our lives.

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I think getting advice is so valuable, but it can also have it’s pitfalls. One of the things I do to get the most out of advice is to be aware of where my adviser is coming from.

There are people who give me advice who have no experience doing what they’re advising. This doesn’t mean they can’t give me good ideas, but when I’m considering whether to implement the their advice, I remember that they’re talking in theory and not based on personal experience.

There are people who have a stake in my choices—what I decide to do will effect them. Because of this conflict of interest, I’m careful with what they have to say. They are more likely to recommend choices that will benefit them. This still doesn’t mean I don’t consider their advice, I’m just aware of the bias that may be there.

I used to think people with personal experience in what I’m inquiring about and no skin in the game were the ideal people to get advice from. Since they wouldn’t be effected by the outcome of my decision, I thought they’d be more objective. I was more likely to blindly follow their advice.

Then I realized that since they won’t be effected by the outcome, they may not be as concerned about the consequences of their recommendation. They may casually give me advice that really isn’t a good fit for my specific situation or encourage me to take bigger risks that don’t fit who I am as a risk-taker. Both can have disastrous consequences.

So my conclusion is that every source of advice needs vetting. There’s no advice I can just blindly follow.

This means more work for me, but also means more empowerment. My decisions and consequences are truly my own. I’m a lot happier and more confident when I make decisions this way.

When I blindly follow someone’s advice, and it doesn’t work out the way I wanted it to, I tend to feel resentful towards them. That’s a sign that I gave my power away to them.

Even though it would be nice to blindly follow an expert’s advice or plan and not have to take the time and effort to really think it through, our decisions are really our own. And when we acknowledge that and act accordingly, we become empowered.

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