Timing Archives

My Word of the Year

Each year I like to choose a word as a theme to focus on during the year. I find it much simpler than a full New Year’s resolution. And because it’s simple, it’s been more powerful in my life.

For 2013, I chose “ground”. At the beginning of 2013, I was working at making significant changes in my life. Change, even for the better, can feel disorienting. So I wanted to focus on being as grounded as I could as I made my changes.

Life had an interesting way of bringing the quality of groundedness to me—a way I never would have predicted nor chosen.

One day in May, I woke up tired. The next day, I was even more tired. My tiredness continued to grow until, by the end of July, I spent full days lying on the couch. My brain was even too tired to think. I was in a fog.

I had to quit working. I couldn’t help around the house. I couldn’t do all the fun activities I was used to—dancing, socializing, hiking, art. I had to totally let go.

What I found in letting go is a sense of support from life.

Lap cat 017

This is my view most days. My cat likes his new bed 😉

The doctor I’d been seeing the last couple years happen to specialize in fatigue illnesses. He prescribed a gentle homeopathic remedy that cleared my mind and gave me a tiny bit more energy. My husband stepped up and took over the grocery shopping and cooking and is supporting me in my healing process.

I met someone at a business training in June who introduced me to a fabulous tool that helps people get more in touch with their authentic self and teaches them ways of living that work really well. (I’ll be talking more about that in future posts.) This tool has helped me tremendously in navigating this phase of my life.

Through this newfound tool, I found a group which is supporting me during my down time. It’s also giving me tools that I can use in the future to live in ways that would make it less likely I’d get sick like this again. You see, I had this same illness in 2009.

I realize life is giving me everything I need. And that feels grounding to me. My roots securely embedded in trusting life. This is not only a concept in my head, but it’s something I feel throughout my entire body.

I’m seeing how, in the past, I’ve tried so hard to make certain things happen in my life that I had overstepped my part in those particular areas. I was trying too hard. I wasn’t allowing life to bring me what it could if only I’d relax and trust as I do my part and allowed life to do it’s part.

I’m still very exhausted as a result of my illness and spend the majority of my days on the couch, but I have a sense of peace about this phase of my life. That there’s a purpose and that I’m being taking care of in this purpose.

Lessons in Dormancy

Last October, we planted our first trees. They’re ones that lose their leaves in the winter. I never realized how scary it is to plant a tree, then see it go “dead” in the winter. Is it OK? Will it come back in the spring? Did I water it enough? Did I water it too much? Have I killed it?

This reminds me of some of my goals. Back in 1993, I was living in the Chicago area. I was not happy living there. I love hiking in mountains, which Chicago clearly doesn’t have, and I didn’t care for the rat-race style of living there. I had decided I wanted to move to a place that was a much better fit. At that time, I married a man who intended on moving to Arizona. He had lived there once and loved it. Arizona had all the qualities I wanted in a place, so it was a plan. We would move to Arizona together.

Unfortunately, the man I married was emotional unstable. Things never got grounded enough for us to feel comfortable making that big move. We ended up divorcing, and he moved to Arizona on his own.

From the time I decided I wanted to move until I actually moved was 9 years. From the outside, it looked like I had given up on that goal. But that’s not what was happening on the inside. I thought about it regularly. I had seen a number of people move away from where they grew up only to return because they lost their job or ran out of money. I wasn’t going to let that happen to me.

It took 4 years to finalize my divorce. I changed my career to something that paid more and was mobile. When I started dating again, while still living in the Chicago area, I told me new boyfriend my plans to move and let him know I would love to have him join me, but I wasn’t willing to give it up.

I worked with a moving coach. (Did you realize there was such a thing?) She helped me get focused on exploring exactly where I wanted to move. This may sound like a lot of action toward my goal, but over a 9-year period it was a snail’s pace.

By the time the opportunity came for me to move, I was ready. The company I worked for downsized. I was let go. I moved to Albuquerque by myself without a job. I had unemployment, which helped tremendously, and I found a job quicker than my co-workers who stayed in the Chicago area.

My mom was shocked when I told her I was moving. I’m guessing she didn’t think I’d ever do it since I hadn’t taken much outward action toward it. But that’s how it works with some of my goals. I have them on my list. I review them periodically. Years may go by, but when it’s time, spring arrives, and I act on my goal in big ways.

Since I’ve been through this process more than once, I’ve learned to trust when certain goals go dormant. As long as I nurture them with a little review and imagination, they will eventually bloom.